It's What You Do At The McDonald's That Determines Your Destiny: Hurricanes, Back Pain, and the Loss of a Child

Don't start asking me which McDonald's or whether it is built on a vortex or something -- this is a metaphor. It has nothing to do with the restaurant or a time warp. If you want to start searching for truth at your local McDonald's, go right ahead. You gotta find the answers somewhere. All I know is that today my daughter, Jessica, and I drove around a good portion of Wake County, North Carolina, only to find out we had make a large circle and ended up back where we started and no closer to our planned destination.


Now, Jessica hasn't lived in this area but a few months and is still learning her way around by anchoring her shopping expeditions to familiar landmarks -- in this case, a crossroads McDonald's restaurant. Since she is on a lot of drugs right now due to a back injury, her thoughts tend to misfire on the way from her brain to her mouth. So while she meant to say that which way you turn at the McDonald's determines which direction you'll be going, what came out was "It's what you do at the McDonald's that determines your destiny."

And where am I going with this? Well, I'll tell you: I have no idea. Right now neither direction nor destiny seem to hold the upper hand. If we have learned nothing else from the events of this past week, hopefully we have a fresh perspective on the dead ends and detours that choice and fate insert into our lives at the first signs of complacency. Some say that life itself is change. A lot of us would rather things always stay the same. This is the point where someone should shout out the warning to be careful what you ask for.

And while I'm still circling the "driving down life's roads" metaphor, let's talk about those warning signs along the way. You know the ones:

Left Lane Closed Ahead
Left Lane Closed 1/2 Mile
Left Lane Closed 100 Yards
Evacuate All Low-lying Areas
Katrina Sets Sights for New Orleans
Landfall Expected in 8 Hours
Sleep Deprivation Major Cause of Accidents
Bend Knees When Lifting
Slow Down, You Move Too Fast
Life Is Short
Stop and Smell the Roses
A Little Child Shall Lead Them


Okay, I detoured from actual road signs, but that just proves my point, doesn't it? How often do we or others wait until the last possible moment to move over into the continuing lane? What fear in us makes us need to get ahead of everyone else, endangering not only ourselves, but those around us? We don't always react to the foreshadowing of a lane change, much less the clanging bells and flashing lights of an impending life change. And it isn't the oncoming change of direction itself that determines the course our destiny takes, it's the way we respond to that change.

It is not the hurricane warnings that change our lives, it is the choice we make to either evacuate to higher ground or live with the consequences of the storm's chaos. It is not the first twinge of discomfort poking through the weeks of fatigue that puts us flat on our backs, it is the choice we make to either slow down and rest or keep up the mad dash that results in constant pain and incapacitation. It is not the inevitable death of a terminally ill child that rips apart the parental heart, it is the choice made to either let nature take its course or fight back with treatments that may or may not prolong the length, if not the quality, of life.

There is no right or wrong here, and these are not the only choices in any of these situations. My point is that no matter what life throws our way, it is what we do with the shake-up that determines our destiny, our destination. I cringed as I typed that since I am an adamant proselytizer of the "life is a journey, not a destination" gospel. But the events of this week have put a major crease in the roadmap of my life as well and now I find myself back at the McDonald's, wondering in which direction lies my destiny. And while I wait, I take comfort in the blue sky overhead, the amazing bank of summer color flowering against the lushness of green grass, the restorative elixir of ice water, and the wisdom that I can't actually be lost if I don't know where I am going.

In seeking the higher ground of peace above the chaos of the storm, I can listen to the voice of stillness instead of the cacophony of fear. In the reflection of another's pain, I remember to take care of myself as well. And from the very, very brief life of a child, I find affirmation that life itself is a spectacular, wonder-filled moment of being -- the twinkling star in the darkness that broadcasts our light to all who encounter it.

But it's also short, so what are you waiting for?


For Maddy...whose dying taught us all so much about living and loving and letting go